The Rule We Know
by Dawn-Silence
Summary: The rule which every single agent who works for Gibbs knows, and how it can ruin lives.No need to tell which one... TIVA JIBBS
1. Magpie

**This will be a Tiva story with lots of angst, so if you don't like don't read. Jeanne will be mentioned and it won't follow the events of season 4/5 mainly because I don't know what happens fully for Channel 5 in the UK takes ages to get the rights…. **

_Rule number 12 was there for a reason, every agent knew about it. It was the only rule they could all remember fully and was the rule that got broken the most. But it was definitely there for a reason…_

Tony and Ziva had been going out for about three months when Tony got summoned to the Directors office. An undercover mission to become the girlfriend of La Granouille, the only problem was he already had a girlfriend but he couldn't tell Jenny that. So he accepted the mission with a heavy heart, he couldn't say no, Jenny was telling him to do the mission not asking him.

"_Tell no one…" _

Tell no one? If Tony told Ziva he would be fired for certain and NCIS was his whole life. If Ziva knew, that information would its way back to Jenny somehow. For a secret agency secrets didn't remain private for long…

Ziva observed Tony from her desk, a week ago he had been asked to see the director alone. Ever since he was acting differently around her avoiding her eye, when she asked what was wrong her brushed it of telling her he was just tired. But she didn't believe that. Next time she spoke to Jenny socially she casually brought it up. The Director said she asked if he wanted his own team. His own team would mean he would leave Washington.

"_And her…"_

Ziva didn't confront Tony about it, if he didn't want to tell her, so be it. Though now she looked at him differently. He noticed this, why was Ziva ignoring him? He hadn't been on a mission yet, all it is is a mission not a life time commitment. This isn't personal and it will help the agency.

"_So far so good..." _

Three months of errands for Jenny, Gibbs is back and everything is back to normal. Jeanne is nice, kind, everything a partner should be. However he still likes Ziva, they connected and she is coming out of her shell. She was the opposite of Jeanne but he still loved her, didn't he?

"_You got married and didn't tell me…" _

Gibbs knew he was doing jobs for the director, but when he started calling her Jenny he wondered if something was up. Though this was the least of his worries, Ziva and Tony had always got on well, their constant bickering and their ability to know what the other was thinking. They made great partners, however Gibbs thought there was something more their. Now they didn't bicker as much, Ziva was getting highly inquisitive, maybe too much. She was concerned for him and Gibbs knew that could mean one of two things…

"_You never call…"_

Ziva was sitting in her apartment staring at the phone. Tony had changed, he never called her and always had his phoned turned off. He never had his phone turned off. Now he didn't look at any woman in the street. She had a look but don't touch policy, now it was almost as if he had grown up…

"_There is no one…"_

She wondered if there was someone, was he cheating on her. He can't be, can he? The mission was the reason why he didn't call wasn't it?

"_Hospital…" _

It was late; Tony was waiting for Jeanne to go on break. His phone buzzed and he looked at the number – Ziva. He felt torn, he cared for Ziva, he honestly did but the more time he spent round Jeanne the more he felt for her…

"_Who is she…?"_

Ziva was looking over Tony's shoulder, having finished her paperwork and with nothing better to do. She was enjoying making him uncomfortable about his appalling grammar. Resulting in him deleting half a page of work, then an email came in. Tony cringed, waiting for the inevitable. He sensed Ziva stiffen behind him as she read the name, Jeanne Benoit. She didn't say anything that was what made it worse. She walked out of the bullpen and got into the elevator...

"_Tears…"_

Ziva let the tears run down her cheeks, her father always said crying is a weakness but at the moment she didn't care. How could Tony do that to her? She couldn't trust him anymore. She picked her phone up…

"_I can explain everything…" _

Tony picked the call up on the first ring, he tried to apologise but Ziva wouldn't listen she wanted the truth. The truth, thought Tony as he bit his lip wondering what to do. The truth was he loved Jeanne; he couldn't do that anymore to Ziva...

Ziva put the phone down, she felt surprisingly calm. Tony had just told her that he was in love with somebody else and had been seeing Little Miss Perfect for 6 months. The exact time Tony began ignoring her, now she had heard the truth from his lips she knew what she would have to do…

Tony came in to work the next day, relieved that Ziva had taken it so well. He looked at Ziva's desk before he entered and saw it was empty – to empty. Gone, everything from her desk was gone. Tony shut his eyes, this had to be a dream.

Tony walked to his desk but was barred by Gibbs screaming at him why Ziva left. A note in his hand with Ziva's writing, the only explanation of her disappearance-

_Ask Tony…_

What was he to say, what you say in times like this? Tony decided to tell the truth, he told Gibbs everything about how he went out with Ziva after Gibbs had left for Mexico. How he was on a mission for Jenny and had to become the "girlfriend" of Jeanne and then how he fell in love with her, then how Ziva found out. Surprisingly, Gibbs listened to the whole explanation and when he finished he didn't feel Gibbs hand making contact with the back of his head.

"_Madame Director…"_

Gibbs marched up to the director's office barged through the door and thrusted the note to her. She read over and over again before she looked at Gibbs. Jenny knew he blamed her, she blamed herself. She raised a hand to stop the abuse and passed Gibbs a letter he read it in silence.

_Dear Jenny,_

_I' know this is the coward's way to handle a situation but this is the only way. I'm going back Israel. You sent Tony on a mission and he obviously didn't tell you about us. I know how people change on missions; I have seen it sometimes it's for better, sometimes for worse. He fell in love with her, and neglected to tell me this. It would be stupid for me to stay, I couldn't trust him and we would endanger lives this way. Tell everyone I'm sorry, I didn't want it to end this way but it is. Tell Gibbs that I'm grateful for what he has told me and what he has done for me. He didn't have to do it. Now I fully understand why rule 12 is there. You think it doesn't matter but it does matter, ever so much. It is a rule that you can't appreciate until it is broken and you end up broken. I might come back, I have some things I have to deal with, at least Tony has showed me you have to face the truth and tell it those who need here. Though Agent Gibbs, if I need help and I most likely will I expect you to come running._

_Forever Grateful_

_Ziva David _

He looked at the Director and they silently understood each other, Gibbs folded up the letter and walked out of her office.

**Well, what do ya think? Shall I carry on or shall I write a series of one shots on each of Gibbs rules? Please let me know what you think.**


	2. What they think

**Okay people are asking me to carry on, so I will…**

When Gibbs entered the bullpen Tony was sitting at his computer staring at the blank screen, Gibbs pitied him even though at the same time he was angrier than he had ever been with anyone before. Gibbs sighed and walked in, Ducky and Abby were there, Abby's eyes were moist with tears and McGee was feverishly trying to comfort her. Gibbs opened the letter and read it; ever pair of ears listened and remained quiet till he had finished speaking, even though he knew they wanted to speak. Abby talked first. She asked what she meant by needing help, protection, who was Ziva running from when she came to NCIS? Gibbs decided that this was not the time for secrets; he knew Ziva might kill him if she ever found out, but she could live with that. So Agent Gibbs poured out the whole story of Ari. Saying that Ari was her brother and how Ziva had killed him for Gibbs even though she didn't know him. How she came to NCIS because Ari had mentioned some rather displeasing features of her father. And how he had lied on the report to save her from her father, all this knowledge was met with stunned silence.

"_Lucy in the sky with diamonds…"_

Ziva stared out of the aeroplane window looking down on the Atlantic Ocean. Wondering whether they had found the letters she had left. A pitiful way to straighten her wrongs but she couldn't face Tony again, ever. She didn't know what hurt more, the fact he fell in love with "her" or the fact that he didn't tell her. Judging by the e-mail things had gotten serious. She didn't hate Jeanne, well not much. How could she? Tony had obviously neglected to tell Jeanne about her. Ziva sneered; it was obvious how much he cared about her. No one had ever cared about her, never. The rage burned fiercely inside her. Then she thought what she was going back to, would it be better than what she was running away from?

"_And they call me happy go lucky…"_

Abby rocked back and forth on her chair, less than two hours ago Gibbs had read out a letter that would change all their lives. It was so out of character for Ziva to run. She never ran away from life. Tony must have broken her heart, she didn't know how. Though that "how" must have hurt. She felt cold against her cheeks and reached up to find tears. Ziva and she hadn't got on well to begin with. Abby felt like Ziva was replacing Kate, if she had known about Ari and her, she would have been gentler. She looked out of her window; the world had seemed to have gotten slightly greyer…

"_You raise me up…"_

Tim stared at Ziva's desk; he hated to see it empty. Last time it had felt that barren it was after Kate d… He couldn't bring himself to think it. Ziva was always there for him. She wouldn't always take DiNozzo's side in an argument. On the days he felt like nothing he could do was right she would say everything was. When he thought he had shot a man she said she never doubted him. When his sister was accused of murder she spoke softly to him. Now he knew why, she had seen a sibling be wanted for death and more. She knew how much it hurt, if only he knew…

"_Through the wind and the rain…"_

Ducky stared at this autopsy room; so many memories had been created in this room. His mind flickered back to the day when he first met Ari. The way he shot Gerald, but most of all the way Caitlin had been totally numbed by Ari. She could have hurt him, killed him. Make it all end so the apocalypse wouldn't start. Something about his eyes was all Caitlin said. Maybe that was what Ziva feared, somebody noticing similarities in them. The same smile, or eyes, or face, the qualities siblings shared. My dear, Ducky thought. There was nothing ever similar between you and him.

"_When you're empty but you're full…" _

Gibbs let all the emotion out on a punch bag. Hitting it harder and harder till all the anger, grief and wrath had drained away, he blamed himself. Even though there was nothing he could have done to prevent this. He wondered how DiNozzo was taking this, hopefully he felt some lost. The rest of them were. His mind slipped from the activity at hand rested on what Ziva would face when she told her father the truth. From what he heard her Father was unforgiving and heartless. He prayed he wouldn't hurt her, and he prayed for her father's soul if Gibbs ever heard that he had hurt her.

"_These words won't seem to heal…"_

Tony stared at his computer, he felt numb inside and out. His mouth tasted bitter and he felt wrong. He couldn't believe that Ziva had done that, he wasn't wrong to tell her. Yet in the same way he wasn't right to tell. He felt tortured, like someone was slowly pulling every one of hairs out, one by one. Ziva had reacted much greater than he expected and now listening to that letter, he wondered if he raised a topic she wanted to forget. Tony knew everyone was avoiding him, he wondered whether they pitied him. He hoped not, for that was worse that anger.


	3. Mandalay

**Next Chapter coming up**

"_On the road to Mandalay…"_

Ziva shuddered as the plane made its finial approach into Tel Aviv. The woman next to her smiled, Ziva took comfort in that. It is amazing how you can sit next to some one for only twelve hours of your life but connect to them and act like you have known them forever. She felt slightly better but the dread of facing her father loomed. She screamed at herself, she had been a coward running back. She would see this through, however he took it.

"_Where the flying fishes play…"_

Ziva fiddled with her necklace, was coming "home" a personal thing. Was she only coming home so the guilt and shame of running wouldn't sink in? Well, if that was the reason it wasn't working. She had loved NCIS but she couldn't stay, she wanted to but she couldn't. The thump of wheels hitting tarmac juddered the plane, this was it she thought. No chances, no excuses, she was here.

"_And the sun comes up…"_

Three months had past, three whole months since the day Ziva had seemed to disappear of the face of the earth. She had contacted them, not a note a phone call or anything. Even though Tony was certain she had e-mailed Gibbs. Though a slap on the back of the head and a no answered that, Gibbs hadn't hit him out of anger. He had hit him out of worry. Tony hoped she was alive, if she wasn't he didn't think he could live with himself.

"_Like thunder…"_

Gibbs banged away at his keyboard, three months! Three months of nothing, she said she wanted help one day. This silence either meant she was dead or on a mission that she would never come back alive from, or she hadn't told him. Gibbs money was on she hadn't told him. Though the thing was Ziva had guts, he knew she was beating herself up over leaving. He didn't think she would not tell him. Gibbs frowned expecting the worse.

"_From China…"_

It was eleven at night and Tony and Gibbs were the only two left in the building. Gibbs was resisting the urge to go and slap Tony across the face as hard as he could. He had been working late every night since Ziva left. They all had extra work; Gibbs couldn't bear to hire another agent. Agent Lee helped; she understood what Ziva meant to them. Gibbs growled low in his throat. He shouted across the bull pen to Tony, saying that he had through neglect he had lost one woman, and he wouldn't have a job to come back to if he lost her…

"_Across the Bay…"_

Tony jumped a foot; he was totally unaware that Gibbs was there. He supposed he was right; he had lost Ziva and the team now only referred to Jeanne as "her". If he lost Jeanne Gibbs would make sure his death was very painful. He switched of his computer and walked out without a word. Jeanne smiled at him when he came back to their apartment. "Their" apartment, it didn't sound right, Jeanne was everything he could ask for. She even stayed when he told her who he really was. She was more distressed over who her father turned out to be. Jeanne took that really hard, Tony couldn't help wondering how on Earth Ziva managed to stay so controlled after the drama of her brother… Stop it! He told himself, he would not let his mind wander back to her. She ran, she was nowhere to be seen. He didn't need her; she didn't need him he thought bitterly.

**Slow chapter, it will speed up soon…**


	4. No going back

Ziva sat down in a café in Tel Aviv, a café she had known most of her life and the man that owned it had been so pleased to see her again she got a free cup of coffee. The strange thing was when she was a teenager her friends and her managed to get themselves barred for six months. Ziva shook her head; it is amazing how many uses there are for a pool table…

"_Laugh, run, cry…" _

Jeanne cooked Tony dinner again; he had to admit she was an excellent cook. Being Italian he didn't give that title out very often. Jeanne put down two steaming plates of Chinese onto the table and encouraged him to take a bite. It was heaven, and he shut his eyes. Next thing he knew was he felt her lips against his.

"_Cry, run, laugh…"_

Ziva got out her mobile, and pressed number five on the speed dial. Her father was always number 5 on her speed dial always, though it seemed pointless now she didn't speak to him. She heard the line connect and the crackle of someone picking up the phone.

"_David" _Ziva choked back tears to hear his voice again, after so long and so much his voice sounded so different.

"Ziva?" came the voice a from the other end, he couldn't almost see him frowning down the telephone.

"Aba…" Ziva said breathlessly choking back her tears.

"My God, Ziva are you alright?" he said hastily, there was the sound of crashing from the other end.

"I'm fine, I just need to tell you something…" she trailed of again, trying to work out the best way to deal with this.

"You know you can tell me anything my dear." replied her father's voice.

"Meet me at the bar we always used to go to, the one by the beach in half an hour." She said

"Wait a moment, Ziva are you in Tel Aviv?" replied a now shocked voice.

Ziva put the phone down without answering,

"Now he has to come she "

"_Back to the place where I held your hand…" _

Ziva has hovering round the entrance it had been forty minutes and her father hadn't arrived. He must be caught up at work… again. She thought. She turned round to leave and walked straight into her father.

Her mind blanked, what am I going to say? How am I going to say it?

A hundred questions filled her mind

"Might as well start with Tony," she thought.

"I need to tell you something can we please sit down." Ziva said after a lengthy pause.

"Of course, I am guessing a private table will be required?" her father replied, getting more suspicious by the minute.

Ziva replied with a weak smile as they sat down.

"This is very difficult for me." Ziva began

"Start at the beginning Ziva" her father said

"That's the point; I do not know what the start is…" she sighed. "During my time at NCIS and in America I began to see someone, normally this wouldn't be difficult but…"

"They don't like it when you date your partner do they?" her father replied casually

Ziva's mouth dropped open, and she stared at him in shock

"How did you know?" she said, amazed.

"Ziva I have a confession to make. For the past six months I have had a couple of my most trusted men keep an eye on you…"

"Spy on me you mean" she spat.

Ziva's father raised a hand to silence her.

"Ziva look at it from my position I have lost two out of three children by unnatural means." He placed his hand on hers "I was not about to lose a third."

"I can look after myself." she muttered

"I don't deny that, but you weren't phoning and I needed to know how you were. Believe it or not but I care about you, whatever you think." He finished

"You had some strange ways to show it." She replied

Her father didn't say anything.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" he said

"Tony, went on an undercover mission…" her father raised a quizzical eyebrow. "He got romantically involved with the women he was supposed to be infiltrating for information her father was a drug lord. It took him three months to inform me about this. He didn't even do it in person." She finished and looked out of the window.

"Why do I think there is more?" he said

"Normally I wouldn't take it so personally but after everything that has happened it was to much and it made me realise we can not keep secrets. You know the report you received concerning Ari…" she bit her lip and looked up.

"Ziva I am not stupid, why would you go and work for the man who killed your brother?"

"Simply because he didn't kill Ari… I did." She winced and shut her eyes tight.

Nothing happened and she opened her eyes, her father looked at her with a mixture of disgust and betrayal. He stood up without a word and left, Ziva ran after him into the busy street. She saw him walk across the road; she sprinted through the rush hour traffic dodging the cars in the street.

She grabbed his shoulder quickly before he could get away.

"Father, but…" she began.

"But what Ziva?" he shouted at her, his voice raised above acceptable level causing a few people to frown at him.

He dragged her by the elbow into a deserted alley, and trapped her against a wall.

"I'm sorry…" Ziva said squirming around trying to break free.

"So I am to understand my daughter shoots my son and then asks for it to be covered up? I am ashamed of you Ziva. Are you really that scared of me?" he asked.

"Please, I'm sorry. I didn't…" she muttered

"Didn't what, didn't think? To right, you didn't think and because of it my son is dead. And you have the nerve to come crawling back to say your sorry?" He roared

"Why was it always Ari? He was always your favourite…" she snarled.

"Lets not get childish Ziva." He father retorted.

"Who is calling who childish? You are the one complaining because I did my job, but unfortunately your ego has got in the way. I came here to ask forgiveness, now I can see I will never get it. I am sorry father, sorry I ever came here." She marched away but turned around.

"And I hope I never see you again." She hissed

"Come back here now." He shouted, finally loosing his temper.

"Make me…" Ziva said as she walked into a crowd.

"_And then at last you take of your mask…"_

Ziva stopped at the pavement.

"_Now I know there is no going back…"_

She stared up at the CCTV camera above her, stopping for a second. Then she carried on without a thought.

_And at a busy junction in downtown Tel Aviv a lonely camera quietly surveyed its surroundings; little did it know that it had just taken the last ever picture of Ziva David._


	5. Hot Tears

**It's not over yet, please stop panicking! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy tormenting yourself over what the last two lines mean. Hope you tell me your theories!**

_Six Months later…_

Tony was sitting at his desk spinning around aimlessly in his chair. Today was another uneventful day of monotonous paper work. The last week had been a blur of action and arrests, now with the storm over a gentle breeze had taken its place. Tony hated gentle breezes; they usually involved paper work, seminars, paper work and paper work.

He threw a paper ball at McGee's head, childish and immature maybe- but that didn't stop it being fun. NO response, Tony pouted. He usually got _some_ response of one form or the other. Perhaps a witty remark, sarcasm or even the last resort – finding something to throw back…

Tony turned back to his computer and frowned trying to make sense of the mass of type in front of him. He shut his eyes and wished for it to go away. He opened one eye slightly and noticed it was all still there and shut his eyes quickly again.

Tony grumbled and began typing knowing that if this wasn't finished soon Gibbs would take his family jewels, turn them into costume jewellery and give them to the Director as a present. He shuddered and began to write as quickly as possible.

Just at that minute Gibbs walked, no stormed into the Bull pen after spending an hour with a niave secrity guard. He slammed his body down into his chair and began typing into his computer. His face resembling the aftermath of an volcano eruption. Tony quickly tried to look as diligent as possible. He had never been a kiss ass, his don't care exterior was now being corroded by the want of a compliment or a look. Something, anything that would say he was proud of him.

Gibbs phone rang…

Tony and McGee looked up…

A pause…

The unmistakable sound of crying…

The sound of the Director crying…

Phone returned to cradle…

An uneasy silence…

The sound of the fax machine beeping was enough to bring Tony back to the world of the living…

Gibbs marched to the machine and whipped out a series of pieces of paper that were coming out of the printer quickly reading them. Angry draining from his eyes as each new sheet appeared. The anger was replaced by nothing… His face remained empty.

"Boss?" Tony asked.

"She's gone." Gibbs whispered.

He turned to face them, and a tear trickled down his face, emotion, pure emotion was appearing on his face. For the first time ever in memory Gunnery Sergeant, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was crying real hot tears.

Tony's legs disappeared and he felt the carpet come up and smother him, but he didn't care. He just remained at the floors level and stared into that place you go when you can't hear people's words or their actions. The place which some of us call space…

"Ziva is dead…" said Tony finally.

He sniffed slightly.

"How?"

"She hung herself…" came a Gibbs reply. This was met by an abyss of silence,

"She went back to her childhood home and hung herself in the garden from a tree. A couple of children discovered her body six months ago…" Gibbs finished.

"SIX MONTHS!" Tony screamed turning around to face Gibbs.

"WHY HAVEN'T WE HEARD ANYTHING"

"What does it matter to you DiNozzo I thought you didn't care about her? You drove her away; broke her heart and now you act all sorry? Well I'm sorry it's too late! There was no identity on the body and she removed the skin of her fingers so she couldn't be finger printed. The local police don't have access to all of Mossad employee's data so her DNA wasn't noticed to be in the system. Mossad thinks she is still in this country. AND the bastard of her father probably doesn't give a crap to say his daughter is missing."

He paused for an angered breath

"he only reason I know about this is that the director and I have for the past month been calling in every favour we have to try and find her. Jenny has now discovered that she has been ashes for six months."

"AND TONY YOU DROVE THAT GIRL TO SUICIDE HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?" Gibbs snapped viscously

Tony stopped and just glared at him, though he knew in his heart that was true.

"It might not be her, though" said McGee pensively.

Gibbs threw a photograph across the Bull pen; it missed and fluttered to the floor. McGee picked it up and turned it over. He swayed on the spot.

It was her…

It had to be her…

The hair and the porcelain face…

Thick dark hair…

She had never wanted to be found…

Never…

Ever…

Noticed…

She…

Had…

Wanted…

To…

Disappear…


	6. Romeo and Julliet

**Next Chapter coming up… (Sorry about the grammar mistakes, I will try to do better.)**

Gibbs slammed his head against the seat as he sat waiting for the lights to change. He cursed himself inwardly over and over again.

He was driving around Washington desperately trying to find Tony; this however was proving to be futile.

_Early that Day…_

"_This is Ziva we are talking about," said Abby quietly. "There is no way; it is not possible for her to take her own life."_

"_You think I don't know that…" Gibbs hissed maliciously in Tony's direction._

_Tony was sitting alone in the corner of autopsy away from the rest of the team. He didn't think he could cope with the angry looks and whispers he had to adjure when he was with them._

_Ducky was looking through the file that had been faxed through from Tel Aviv, desperately trying to find something in the report that might indicate that it wasn't her. But the darkening and serious expression that had appeared on his face proved that this wasn't the case._

"_Tony?" Ducky asked gently._

_Tony grunted a response,_

"_Did Ziva have a tattoo?" Ducky asked._

_Tony lifted his head and turned to face them._

"_Yes, a five pointed star on her left shoulder in…"_

"_Aqua blue." Ducky finished for him._

_The whole team looked at each other, not saying a word but exchanging nervous glances. The under lying feeling that she was dead had been growing stronger and stronger. However none of them wanted to be the one to say those harrowing words, the words that confirmed or stated she was definitely dead._

"_I know none of us wants to admit this but…" Jenny said softly._

_She raised her head of Gibbs shoulder which was now moist with tears,_

"_I can't think of any other explanation. There are too many coincidences that make me believe that it can't be a look alike. One, she went back to her childhood home and hung herself from a tree that had great sentimental value to her. Hers and her sisters initials were carved onto that tree, I remember her mentioning that tree when we were in Cairo together. Two, the body had the same tattoo as Ziva which is too coincidently. Also, you say suicide isn't like Ziva but it is…" the last statement brought everybody's head up and all their eyes were directed to Jenny._

"_Ziva is… was very, very proud. If she ever thought her honour or her dignity were in danger she would punish herself internally for a long time. She ran away from us and Ziva hates being a coward. The very idea of running away is not of her mentality. Then she had to admit to her father she had killed her brother, and believe me her father can be very manipulative at times. Her father probably disowned her and banished her from his sight. Think of it this way, she couldn't go back, she couldn't go forwards. Coming back here would be worse than going away; she had no future, nothing to go on for. Maybe she just wanted the emotional pain of her life to stop, for everything to go away." Jenny finished addressing the group._

"_I'm sorry but it had to be said, Ziva committing suicide isn't a big surprise to me at all…"_

The noise of angry horns brought Gibbs back to the present; he quickly accelerated and made his way to a bar Tony spent most of his time.

Gibbs arrived there and found no signs of Tony, he slammed open the door of his car, sat down and screamed into the steering wheel.

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs arrived at Tony's apartment, the door was open and he walked in. Not worried too much by an open front door, Tony had been a little distracted when he left, to say the least. He looked in every room, no sign of Jeanne or Tony. It appeared that someone had been angry; a photo frame was smashed on the floor.

He picked it up and examined it; it was a picture of them on holiday. They both seemed relaxed and happy to be together.

"Maybe I was a little harsh on him" he thought.

"I mean, it is not like I can lecture him about affairs too much."

Gibbs groaned, trying to work out where Tony would be. Gibbs paced around the apartment thinking; he suddenly stopped for a moment then ran out of the apartment.

He would be dammed if this would turn out to be an episode of Romeo and Juliet…

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs made it back to his house in record time, not caring about how many speeding tickets he would probably be receiving in the post soon.

The fact that his front door was open only confirmed his belief that Tony was inside. He went down into his basement to find a couple of empty bottles of bourbon littering the steps.

Gibbs continued walking down the steps till he reached his boat and walked around it letting his fingers brush over the smooth wood.

He saw Tony slumped against the bottom of the boat with a gun in his hands, pointing at his head.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you…" Gibbs said carefully.

"Why not?" Tony replied bitterly.

"Jeanne." Gibbs answered innocently.

"Don't talk to me about her; I have managed to loose the only woman I have ever loved."

"Told you not to neglect Jeanne, women don't like it." Gibbs replied wisely.

"Who says I am talking about Jeanne?" Tony answered looking at Gibbs through sorrowful eyes.

"And one bullet is the only thing stopping me seeing her again, in a place where the past can be forgotten." Tony said raising the gun to his head…


	7. Yes, No, Maybe, So?

Next Chapter…..

Gibbs stared unflinching at the gun which was now pressed against Tony's temple. Their eyes looked at each other for a second then Tony broke away.

"I can't do it…" Tony stuttered annoyed that he couldn't carry out the task he set himself to do.

"Good, because if you did I would resurrect you myself, then kill you again." Gibbs said with a slight smile.

Tony set the gun down and exchanges a chuckle with Gibbs.

"Its not that I can't do it, I just don't believe that she is dead." Tony said.

"Nor do I." Gibbs said between a swig of Bourbon, he passed a bottle to Tony who graciously drank it.

"I know people will tell me its denial, the stages of grief, but I don't think it is. Then again that is what denial is about." Tony was silenced by Gibbs.

"You are babbling, whether denial or hope it doesn't matter. I don't think she is dead and I know in your heart you know she isn't dead." Gibbs eyes softened, he hated seeing Tony like this.

"You know," Tony began swaying slightly. "After Ziva left I treated Jeanne like a queen. I didn't want another break up or you coming after me. She left me Gibbs, why do they that." He asked.

"Tony, I have been married four times, if I knew the answer to that I would still have a wife." Gibbs shook his head.

"Sometimes in life you have to learn that the best moral and honest actions aren't always going to guarantee you the consequences you deserve. I honestly thought I had found the right women and she left me for her career." Gibbs finished staring at his boat.

Tony grunted,

"Yes, well, Jeanne left me for another man." Tony spat "How could she do that, after all I have done for her?" Tony mumbled.

"Now can you see what Ziva felt like?" Gibbs asked.

Tony gave Gibbs a numbing stare.

"She met a doctor at work, a plastic surgeon. He has just opened a practise in LA and she has flown out to join him. She is now living the Hollywood lifestyle." Tony sneered.

"Tony, sometimes in life your world falls around into a million tiny pieces. You have to learn to pick them up and then build your self another fortress." Gibbs said looking at Tony carefully.

"I didn't know the director left you." Tony said.

"Who said she did?" Gibbs said maybe a little too quickly.

"Ziva, Jenny and Ziva were friends they got drunk one night and the secrets flowed almost as fluidly as the wine." Tony said into the bottle.

Gibbs groaned and gritted his teeth. Even though he always knew it would come out one day it didn't stop this being any less awkward.

"Yes Jenny left me; I honestly thought I had met the women I wanted to spend the rest of my days with. I told my wife I was having an affair, surprisingly she took it well – until I got back from Paris with a broken heart and then received a broken skull. Jenny stayed in Europe continued with her career; I had to move on, as do you Tony. The only reason I am so strict with you is because I don't want you to end up like me. Ironic really, that however hard you try things will always conspire against you." Gibbs said.

Tony was speechless for a couple of minutes and then began playing with the dusty bottle in his hands.

"What do I do boss? Everyone hates me, even Abby." Tony said distressed.

"I can't answer that, but I can tell you to forget about Ziva. As hard and as cruel as it may seem it is the only way to move on. I shall not be ignorant to tell you that it will be easy from now on. It won't be, I'm sorry." Gibbs finished.

"Don't apologise it is a sign of weakness." Tony answered automatically.


	8. Carpe Diem

**Here we go again… **

Gibbs dropped Tony of at his house with the promise that he wouldn't do anything stupid. There was no way he would let Tony drive after the amount of alcohol he had consumed in his basement. Then again Gibbs himself was hardly in the limit…

"Oh sod that…" Gibbs thought, hi moral half of his brain wrestling with his emotions.

Gibbs then looked up out of his car window and for the first time noticed where he was driving to. He blinked a couple of times to try and clear his head, his hands seemed to need no instructions as he drove.

"I am over halfway there, might as well finish…" Gibbs muttered out loud.

He swung the car sharply to the left and entered a wide street illuminated by Victorian street lamps. He parked his car next to the wide open green and walked up to one of the houses. Then he rung the door bell and waited for a reply.

None Came…

Gibbs rang again and tapped his foot impatiently. Finally the door was opened by Naomi, Jenny's Housekeeper.

"Jenny is not in cenior Gibbs…" she said confidently.

Gibbs tried to walk in anyway but was blocked by Naomi.

"She is not in Sir, try another time."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows as he looked over her shoulder and could see a soft light coming from underneath Jenny's study door. He smiled innocently at Naomi then walked away. Naomi breathed a sigh of relief and shut the door. She quietly walked to the study and opened the door slightly.

"He has gone Miss Shepard…"Naomi began but then decided to leave Jenny alone, she shut the study door and turned the light of in the hall.

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Jenny was sitting on the sofa in her study with her knees beneath her chin and rocking backwards and forwards quietly. Her green eyes were blank and were transfixed on the fire in the hearth.

She didn't notice the patio doors open gently behind her, the slight breeze tickled her face, she turned around to see the cause of this and stared straight into the eyes of Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Jenny screamed but was silenced by Gibbs putting a firm hand over her mouth. JEnny relaxed and looked at the floor.

"What do you want Jethro?" she said with authority.

"To see how you are Jenny. Just, let down your defences for a couple of minutes. No one is here to hurt you." Gibbs whispered in her ear.

"Its my fault…" she said with tears beginning to drip down her cheeks.

Gibbs sat down beside her and pulled her into his chest and began stroking her hair.

"It isn't your fault, you didn't know about Ziva and Tony, there was nothing you could do." Gibbs said regretting everything he had said to her in her office.

"Ziva saved my life in Egypt, I was never able to return that favour. What if I had known Jethro?" Jenny pleaded.

Gibbs put a finger on her lips,

"Don't think in "What ifs" Jen, Don't look back for there was nothing you could have done. It's over." Gibbs said

Jenny stood up and poured Gibbs a glass of wine in a desperate attempt to break the tension in the room. She handed it to him, but he backed her against the table.

"Jethro…" she warned.

"Give me one more chance Jenny, I never forgot about you, and I can't just sit and wait and hope for a miracle."

Jenny looked into his eyes and didn't say a word, it didn't need words. Gibbs kissed her for the first time in eight years. Jenny melted and leant back onto the table, she leaned back and knocked over the bottle of wine. It rolled across the table and smashed on the carpet around their feet. Jenny broke away and looked at the floor. Gibbs grabbed her face roughly.

"We will worry about that tomorrow." He said


	9. It's Raining It's pouring

**OK ZIVA MAY BE IN THIS CHAPTER -BE PATIENT!!!**

Two Years…

The rain was hammering down the windows of the NCIS building like sheets of steel. The sound in the bull ring was deafening, as the windows took another heavy beating. Tony sat staring out of the window trying to get his mind to fix on the case they were dealing with. A marine corporal Vince Rodgers had gone missing three months ago, the marine corp. smelt a rat and asked NCIS to take a look into it. They went to his apartment and found signs of a serious struggle.

Gibbs being Gibbs wasn't going to rest till he had found Rodgers but Tony being Tony knew there was an almost zero chance that he was still alive. Tony sifted mindlessly threw files of data and information that had been stored on the corporals computer. Tony's mind was steadily turning into jelly, the letters flickered before his eyes but didn't arrange into a coherent pattern.

Tony groaned and slapped himself on the cheeks to try and wake up, he looked at Gibbs who was on his third cup of coffee already. This case was proving tedious and tempers were fraying. McGee had fled to Abby's after Gibbs had thrown a stapler at him. He had been a while, Tony thought.

Speaking of the Devil Tony grinned as the elevator doors opened at McGee ran to Gibbs desk.

"Boss…" he said breathlessly.

Gibbs looked up expectantly:

"Yes, you know where he is?" Gibbs barked

"No well, not really." McGee stuttered looking fir the best phraseology.

"Spit it out McGee!" Gibbs ordered, his voice raised to a crescendo.

"What if the Corporal is in Hospital." McGee said

"We have already looked at Bethesda and sent his name to ever hospital in the area." Gibbs fired back.

"No, what if he has no identity. He has drugged and beaten then dumped somewhere with no ID." McGee rushed.

"Fingerprints," Gibbs said.

"Hospitals don't have access to records, only the military one do. They send out a report but they often get lost in the state system. I have contacted every hospital in the area to find out if any of them have any John Does. There is a small hospital just south of here which takes all the nameless people. They have four John Does at the moment and one of them matches our Petty Officers description." McGee finished.

"Tony, Gas the truck" Gibbs shouted as he marched to the elevator throwing his cold cup of coffee in the bin by Tony's desk.

"On it Boss!" Tony called to the closing doors.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

The floor by the entrance of the hospital was wet with rain, their shoes squeaked delicately on the floor. Tony could smell disinfectant and bleach. The over cleanliness which made everything shone clinically white. The floors were white, the walls, the doors and even this was bathed in a surreal white light from the lights above.

The reached the reception of the ward, a thin women was staring into a computer screen chewing her lip whilst reading.

Gibbs cleared his throat.

"Can I help you?" she asked her blue eyes flickering over the trio.

Her voice was warm enough, though there was a slightly hostile edge.

Gibbs showed her his badge.

"NCIS, we are here to have a look at the patients to see if any of them are a missing marine." Gibbs said.

The receptionist smiled and nodded.

"Yes of course, go ahead. We are always very suspicious of people coming in here. Some of these poor people are ex gang members. It pays to be cautious." She said turning to a stack of files.

"We are looking for this man," Gibbs asked "Have you seen him?"

Suddenly a large built man in a white coat came over to them.

"Can I help? My name is Dr Oliver Sanders, chief Doctor on this ward." He said.

Gibbs showed him the picture and waited for some sort of response.

The doctors eyes seemed to be drinking the picture they wandered all over the picture and then he tutted. He looked at Gibbs.

"I think this is the man in room number 10 , te one at the end." He said.

"You think?" Gibbs pushed.

The doctor just raised his eyebrows at him as a way of shunning an explanation. He then turned away and picked up a clipboard. Gibbs rolled his eyebrows and walked down the corridor before McGee and Tony had time to think. They quickly hurried after him not wanting any more cutting words in their ears…

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony walked into the room and then stopped. He could see why it had taken the Doctor a long time to recognise the corporal from the picture. His face was burnt and his whole body was covered in a series of bandages, his hair was faint and wispy and even his eyebrows had been burned off. His skin was red raw and mangled, it looked like a steak before it has been cooked, all dripping with blood and pulsing slightly to the hum of heavy machinery. Machinery which controlled everything he does.

He picked up the file from the end of bed.

"If this is the corporal he has been in an car fire, 75 of his body has been burnt and his tox screen showed he had high levels of chemicals in them all found in weed killers."

"Contract killing boss?" McGee questioned.

Gibbs didn't even have to answer that question. He turned to Tony and said this is going to be a long day…

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

It was now three am and Tony hadn't sat down all day. He couldn't even remember the last time he had a coffee. He was standing outside the corporal's room taking a five minute break before he entered the dragon's lair once more. He walked to the window and placed his cheek against it feeling the reviving cold against his flesh and watched the millions of rain drops fall into the blackness.

He turned around and looked at the notice board and sneered, to see all the patients had no names only numbers. The human body had been reduced to a number; he walked up and down the hall trying to clear his head.

He watched a nurse struggling with a trolley and a basket, each full of bottles and boxes of some kind. Tony went up to her and flashed her a smile.

"Need a hand?" he asked.

She smiled back.

"Oh, if you don't mind, I am just going into here." She said motioning at a door.

Tony opened it for her and followed her into the room carrying the basket of bottles. He couldn't help chuckling at her.

Then he stopped laughing and walked out of the room.

Not looking where he was going he walked right into McGee and Gibbs.

"You Ok Tony? You look like you have seen a ghost?" McGee said.

"You could say that…" Tony whispered.


	10. Taboo Who?

**Next chapter coming up, hope you enjoy reading them just as much as I enjoy writing them!**

Tony stood rooted to the spot is mouth open wide like a porthole on board a ship, he made no sound or gesture but stood in a dazed trance swaying slightly on the spot in an almost pendulum action. He licked his now chapped lips and tried to correlate the movement of his mouth to some sort of vocabulary -but failed.

Gibbs looked at him unsure, since coming out of that room Tony had changed from a pale white with his eyes glassy, as though they were trying to register a memory long over due to a deathly grey, his skin was clammy and resembled a loaf of bread which had been forgotten in the rain as its owner dashed for safety.

Tony then shook his head violently as if being bothered by an insect and cleared his throat purposely.

"Look in there…" he whispered motioning towards the door from which he had come.

"And tell me I am crazy, for it's not possible." Tony said in a throaty low whisper which was nothing like his normal voice. It was gravely and distant, and changed his whole character. Gibbs was alarmed and walked into the room but still looked over his shoulder at Tony who was now sitting down of the mass produced seats of any hospital ward.

He then turned his attention to the dimly light room which Tony wanted his attention. The noise of numerous hospital machines combined together to form a deafening discordant symphony. The small unit in which a patient stored their items was bare apart from a small vase containing a five pet al indigo flower and a series of shrubby yellow flowers gathered together in dense slender stems with many leaves. It seemed a strange choice of flowers for someone's room but then again what wasn't strange about this entire ward? The blankets were fresh and crisp on the bed like newly fallen snow; he could almost feel their starchy, scratching texture.

Then he looked at the occupancy of the bed, her face was pale in the tungsten glow of the light bulbs and her lips were unnaturally red compared to her dark hair. If anything she looked like a human version of snow white. Her curls covered her face so Gibbs felt obliged to take them away. He put her hair on the pillows until it fanned out around her like a halo.

"No, no no no no…" Gibbs began to mutter.

All the pain that the team have buried for two years seem to resurface in the instant Gibbs began to shout. McGee rushed and then stood still as if his feet had been turned to stone. Tony came in hesitantly, not wanting to see what was being laid before his eyes.

"It has to be a sick joke…" McGee began.

"It can't be…" Tony said sounding as if he was informing his own being rather than the rest of the room.

"Ziva?" Gibbs whispered.

_And at 3:45am a taboo was shattered into dust in a small hospital waiting room. One of the many taboos in this world which ought not to be in place; which just cause pain and anguish to those it concerns. However this taboo was not the taboo of marriage between rival families or people. Not the uttering of certain phrases or actions of consequence. No, all this taboo consisted of was a word. The personal pronoun we govern to, the most beautiful sound we will ever here. The sound of our own name…_

**Aren't I so cruel for making it this short? Next chapter is already forming in my mind and will be up tomorrow. By the way everything in this chapter matters for the final formation of my story-especially the flowers…**

Flowers are good…

**(I wonder what they mean.)**


	11. Ashes to Ashes

**OK this is a proper chapter this time, don't you worry. ;)**

The women in the bed made no indication that she recognised the name being called. Then again what could they expect, she was in a coma after all. Her eyelids remained closed as they had been for so long. The rise and fall of her chest was so light it seemed no breath at all. Her hands were arranged deliberately on the sheets and the softness of this scene was only scared by the harsh artificial hospital lights fixed to the roof above.

McGee walked out of the room to find a nurse, or anyone who could explain what all this meant. How long had she been here? After two years the whole team had appeared to hve moved on. But I can assure you that if you scraped away the thin layer of ash and shell you would find the pain was still very real though none of them could say the "weakness" they had all shared.

It dawned on Gibbs that no new team member had come to sew up the bitter hole of grief. Maybe the only way to move on fully and to forget was for a new beginning in metaphoric or literal sense. He cursed himself for just letting everything fester like a hunk of rotting meat. The gases all building up on the team and just waiting to explode, after Kate, Ziva came and with her was an entirely new way of viewing the world. Her odd little actions and flirtations soon replaced Kate's childish banter with the team. But never think that Ziva had merely been a replacement. No, she was a whole new outlook, a new sense of achievement and new emotions. Ziva was Ziva, and believe me no one could ever replace her. As no one had ever replaced Kate…

"What ever you think Ziva," Gibbs thought. "We all loved you and still do, what happened for you to think that? Yes Tony is a jackass but her always was…"

Gibbs suddenly kicked the bed earning him an almost demonic glare from the nurse, he shouted to the sky, the bed, and to the whole world in general.

"Why didn't you come to me, I always promised you I would protect you."

The nurse eyes softened at this outburst and looked at the team with a distant sadness in her wide eyes.

"Do you know this woman?" she asked cautiously not wanting to pry into other people's business.

"Maybe…" Gibbs started not wanting the women to be Ziva but then again any sense of the term alive was good, wasn't it?

Surprisingly the nurse didn't question Gibbs vague response, and picked up the file from its holder at the end of the bed. Opened it deafly and began to flick through its pages.

"She came in just under two years ago, she was found near washed up on Virginia Beach with no id and suffering from bad hypothermia as well as all the tale tale signs of a beating. Almost every bone in her body was broken and there was severe haemorrhaging to the frontal lobe of her brain. Its amazing she has lasted this long." The Nurse said.

"Wait a moment, haemorrhaging, what does that mean for her long term neurological health?" McGee said quickly.

The nurse looked down at the floor and shifted uncomfortably in her shoes, you could almost see the thought process as she worked out the best way to explain all this.

"I can't say, her MRI results are relatively normal for someone in her state. You, We will only know the true results when she wakes up. If she wakes up…" The nurse sensed that this was a very difficult situation for them and quietly withdrew from the room and shut the door with a soft click.

As soon as the click had stopped echoing of the walls Tony began to speak.

"Do you think it is her?"

"I don't know…" Gibbs began but trailed of her went to the side of the women's bed and gently moved her arm so he had full view of her elbow. He gently rotated it and ran his thumb gently up her smooth skin. His thumb stopped when he reached a point at the side of the arm very close to the elbow. He traced the outline of a small bulbous point, and then he placed her arm back onto the sheet.

He stooped down and kissed her gently on the forehead, and stroked her hair in the way a mother does her child.

"It is her." He said simply, but that was all that need to be said.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony sat silently next to the bed just staring blankly into the wall behind unable to focus on one point. The burden he had for her death had been terrible but this was even worse, for she was in a fate worse than death. He could almost hear her spirit screaming like a ravenous banshee and scratching and snarling with all its might to be free from its senseless prison.

"Sorry…" he whispered, one tear rolled down his face and then clung his cheek with all its might, but then gravity over powered it and it fell onto Ziva's hand and spread radiating in all directions.

Tony didn't even bother to ask Gibbs how he knew it was her, that didn't matter to him at this moment in time. He knew Gibbs well enough to not question his statements and undeniable knowledge.

"Who did this to you…?" Tony said.

"Pick a terrorist group, any terrorist group." Gibbs growled.

Tony jumped a foot in the air not realising that Gibbs was in the room let alone right behind him.

"She has been here a long time Tony, by the manner in which they tried to get rid of her I presume they knew how hard she was to kill. She had weights tied to the bottom of her feet before she was thrown into the sea. I don't think anyone knows she was alive until now."

McGee walked into the room his eyes furrowed into a deep frown.

"Boss, I have been talking to the doctor and Ziva has been in a coma for so long that there is less than a 10 chance she will come out of it…" He trailed off regretting being the one to relay this information.

"They say it might be kinder to…"

"No." said Gibbs most defiantly, "I will never do that to her." Then he stopped and looked out of the window.

"Not yet any way," his voice rose to a feverish pitch. "Not until the bastard who did this to her is safely 6ft under ground." Tony and McGee both winced and the gleaming flash that had appeared in his eyes. "Have you noticed she is the only patient with flowers?" He said annoyed.

McGee stood up quickly from the table he had been resting on and caught Gibbs eye. Knowing where this conversation was heading and decided to stop it before the stampede which is also known as Gibbs temper was let loose.

"I'll pull all security tapes from the past month and then find out who ran the investigation." McGee said already running from the room.

"Tony..." Gibbs began but was interrupted by Tony.

"I know full all information from immigration and find out why Ziva would fake her own death and manage to get back into the US." He said in a bored tone. He began to stand up but Gibbs put a very forceful hand on his shoulder and pushed him down into his seat. Gibbs then bent close to Tony's ear and whispered.

"No you are not; you are going to stay with her no matter what. You got that? I don't care if the building collapses you don't leave her!" He said, then Gibbs barged out of the room.

Tony shut his eyes and prayed for it to all end…

**Yay, me finished this chapter! Next one coming up!!**


	12. Hello, my name is

**I have lost this chapter twice through my computer crashing so this is why it is taking so long. I even saved it as well, so here it is, longer than planned but you loose all will to write when you loose five pages of type…**

Gibbs walked out of Ziva's room and leant against the glass window. DiNozzo was right, they needed to find out why she was in America and how she faked her own death; but at the moment all this didn't matter, his thoughts were swimming around inside his head and he couldn't sort them out. It is all so different when the person you are trying to save is someone you know. The personal, memories kick in and it's very hard to try and stop them flowing around. Gibbs sighed at hit is head against the glass and pondered on what to do next. He then got his mobile out of his pocket and hit one on his speed dial. He waited until the familiar sound of the dialling tone began and started pacing the hall corridor waiting for an answer. The distant thud of a hand picking up a phone told him that she was there.

"Director Sheppard." They voice said simply.

"Jenny, it's me." He paused for a second "We've found her." Gibbs said this bluntly, deciding that telling her straight out would be the best thing to do.

"Jenny? Jen!" He called when he received no reply, but the long dead tone he now heard told him that she was gone. He irritable threw his phone back into his pocket.

NCINCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

McGee was chewing his bottom lip and stared at his computer screen; he blinked a couple of times to try and get his eyes in focus after spending several hours looking at security videos. The sound of the elevator brought him back to his work, or rather avoiding a headslap. Gibbs sat down at his computer and began typing quickly; barely registering the fact that McGee was sitting opposite him. McGee sighed and began watching the video again. After a couple of minutes he sat up a little straighter and a squinted towards the screen; trying to define what he was watching:

"Er…Boss." He said.

"What McGee." Gibbs barked impatiently

"I think you should look at this." McGee replied clicking the middle button on the TV remote.

A grainy black and white video appeared on the monitor. The pixels were highly evident and the clarity was appalling but a figure had just appeared on the bottom right hand corner.

"You going to make that clearer or am I going to have to beg?" Gibbs stated.

McGee hastily pressed a couple of buttons on the controller and the image zoomed in and cleared. To reveal none other than Doctor Oliver Sanders, Gibbs frowned at McGee.

"Already bringing him in boss…"

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Jenny hovered around the entrance to the hospital ward unsure of what to do. It was her fault she was in the hospital bed and she couldn't forget that. She closed her eyes briefly and inhaled a deep breath and walked in.

Jenny could hear every sound of her shoes creaking on the linoleum floor; a horrible squeak which was following her around like a shadow after midday.

"_Squeak, squeak…"_

Jenny knew she had less than fifty meters to prepare herself mentally for this, but for what? She didn't even know what state Ziva was in. Her mind floated back to Cairo, she shuddered and prayed that whoever had done this was slightly more merciful than they had been there.

Jenny reached the ward and found Ziva's room; she cautiously opened the door and found Tony sitting there his eyes blank and hollow. She walked totally into the room and cleared her throat gently.

"Tony? Tony go and get a coffee, please." She asked quietly.

He turned to look at her and she knew at once he had been crying. The dirty, shimmering snail's trails of tears gilded his face. Though as soon as he found out it was Jenny he quickly brushed them away and tried to put on a brave face.

"Tony, go . I'll stay with her and I promise nothing will happen." Jenny tried to reassure him.

Tony reluctantly got up and walked to the door but turned at the last moment to turn around and look at her. He took every detail about her in and then left.

Jeeny closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Hey." She said.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"Why did you do it Sanders?" Gibbs screamed in his ear. He didn't even start gently; he had neither the patience nor the will.

The doctor turned and looked at him straight in the eye, not at all scared by Gibbs monstrous out burst.

"This." Gibbs snapped and thrust a handful of pictures at him. Pictures of him bringing the flowers into Ziva's room.

Sanders looked at the pictures in silence for a couple of minutes, then looked at Gibbs who thanked him with a cold stare.

"I di…" he began but Gibbs cut in.

"Don't you even think of trying to deny it. We have three nurses say they saw you coming in with those flowers two weeks ago." Gibbs barked, slamming himself into his seat.

Sanders fiddled with the back of his neck and tapped his foot nervously on the floor.

"They told me to…" he said uneasily.

"Who's they." Gibbs said taking interest.

"I don't know, he never told me. All I know is he said if he didn't give her the flowers my wife would suffer." He looked Gibbs straight in the eye. "You have to believe me, he had me and gun point and I had no other alternative."

"How did you contact him?" Gibbs continued.

"I only spoke to him once, on the phone, I still have the number." He said nervously. He took out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Gibbs.

Gibbs quickly dialled the number and tapped his foot impatiently.

Then a voice answered:

"Hello again Mr Gibbs…"

Then it all went silent.

**DUN DUN DUUUUUN **

**Who is it on the phone I wonder?**


	13. Bitter Blood Ties

Thanks for all the reviews they're great

**Thanks for all the reviews they're great. Really motivating! Sorry about the ridiculously long delay – many many problems. First my computer broke for 4 weeks then I was in hospital for a week and found it hard to look at a computer screen for another two. NOW I am supposed to be revising but I am taking a break before Latin **

Gibbs was stunned for a minute, his mind blanked at his fist clenched instinctively. This was now beginning to run a lot deeper than he had first thought. He opened his mouth to speak but the line went dead. He looked at his phone at through it against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces.

Gibbs turned to face the glass and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

"Do you know why?" Gibbs said, unnervingly quietly.

"I… they…" Sanders stuttered, looking uncertain.

"They said she had to pay." He said eventually.

"For what?" Gibbs said, not looking forward to having to look through Ziva's file at Mossad.

"I don't know, all they said was she had been trying her luck for a long time and now it was time to cash in and she was in debt." The Doctor finished.

"You are staying right here until we sort this out." Gibbs commanded as he stormed from the room.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony stared at the coffee machine in front of him; deafly he pressed a couple of buttons and waited. Suddenly, without warning his mind burst and he slammed his fists into the plastic front. He felt his knuckles sting from the force of the punch but he didn't care. After all that had happened he deserved this and more – so much more.

Before he could stop himself he felt the cold salty tears run down his face, he bit back a sob of despair and picked up the coffee violently throwing the liquid down his throat scalding his lips, mouth and oesophagus. The bitter taste complimented his feeling towards himself.

He walked out of the hospital and sprinted as fast as he could for as long as he could, until he was totally alone in the eerie silence of the night. He looked around making sure he was totally alone in the rubbish filled street and then screamed. He screamed and screamed and screamed. Letting out all his frustration, guilt, annoyance and the lingering hatred he had to everyone and everything, the emotions were eating him alive and were hurting everyone else.

He stopped and let the last peeling call end and vanish into the night before he started the long and lonely walk back to the hospital.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

McGee put the phone down with a soft click just as the clicking noise of Gibbs heels entered the bull pen.

"Hey, boss." McGee began as he stood up to follow Gibbs.

"I have been trying to work out how Ziva got back into America and apparently she was already in the country before the death of Jane Doe. I'm thinking she got someone to help her fake a death, just in case anyone came looking for her."

Gibbs stopped and gave a small smile and whispered something that sounded unmistakably like "that's my girl"

"I am working on the whom at the moment; maybe she came to see us after all." McGee finished returning to his computer once more.

"She didn't come to see us McGee," Gibbs said walking up the stairs to the Directors office. "She came home."

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"Cynthia!" Gibbs barked making her jump slightly, "I need you to organise a MTAC conference with the director of Mossad, NOW!" he shouted.

Cynthia rolled her eyes slightly,

"I'll try, what is the reason? It better be good"

"Lets just say that I may charge him for the murder of his daughter." He yelled walking out of the room.

Cynthia watched stunned for a moment but complied with the request and picked up the phone.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"Boss!" yelled McGee as he ran up the stairs two at a time.

Gibbs turned around to face a panting McGee holding a piece of paper.

"No, Ziva _David _came into the country during our time window." McGee paused waiting for a reaction – none came.

"I think she changed her name, it's the only reason we didn't find out sooner." McGee paused before explaining further.

"I have looked at _all_ pictures of women coming from Israel and this one is the best fit."

HE handed Gibbs the piece of paper and watched Gibbs as he read it. His eyebrows rose as he reached the name.

"I know, she was giving us clues all the time."

"She wanted us to know she was in the country. God Damn it!" Gibbs yelled and threw the paper back at McGee.

Gibbs stormed down the stairs and marched into the bull pen. Yanked open the draw to hard that it came out of the runners and turned on the flat screen,

The back page of a passport appeared on the screen in front of him. And stopped for a moment and just looked at the screen.

His eyes smiled with pride but his mouth and other features were framed in anger and bitterness.

HE read the name, again, and again and again – each time feeling his heart turn back into beating muscle rather than the stone it had been for two years.

"Ziva Gibbs…"

_Short, simple and to Gibbs it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him._

_He had a new daughter,_

_And even better than a daughter by exact heritage,_

_For she had chosen that title,_

His many thoughts of new found fatherhood were interrupted by the violent ring of his phone.

"Okay," he said into the receiver. "I'll be up in a second…"

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs stormed up the stairs for the hundredth time that day but stopped before the retina check of MTEC. He knew who he was about to face but at the same time he knew nothing about the man. He paused and wondered how best to deal with this, he wanted results, revenge, and justice but at the same time he didn't think he would be very popular if he destroyed the American/Israeli relationship.

For once in his life he counted to ten before he acted knowing that the Director of Mossad could also be a great help as well as man who he wouldn't mind having on his own for half an hour.

The doors slid open and he walked inside, hesitant at what to expect.

Except what he got was nothing like his hesitance.

Instead of the leering face, so much like his son, staring out of a computer screen at him. Director Chaim David was so much like his daughter that it scared him. At his first glance he thought it was her. His hair thick, dark and curly was streaked at the temples with silvery grey. His features, as soft as his daughters seemed so contradictory to the stories he heard about a hard cruel man.

But his eyes were the most interesting and remarkably like hers dark and large but have deep set bags and large dark circles.

The Director sat up a little straighter and brought his attention to Gibbs away from the unseen view out of his window.

"What can I do for you Special Agent Gibbs?" He said.

This official calmness caught Gibbs out for a moment; there was no sign in his face or his eyes which could be described as bitter. IN fact he looked like a man who had realised he had lost everything he loved.

Could he have loved her?

Gibbs opened his mouth to reply.

"Its concerning your daughter Sir." Gibbs said, despite his pre judge opinion of David, Gibbs realised he was a man to be respected.

He sat up a little straighter,

"Ziva, where is she? Can I speak to her?" he asked quickly.

Gibbs frowned,

"Didn't you read the terms of this meeting?" he said, disbelieving at his ignorance.

"Of course I did. But you are to tell me that every memo you sent out for someone's attention was the truth? Come now, if you want someone's attention, what do you do?" David paused for a moment wanting a reply – none came.

"You don't shout louder, you shouter harder."

Gibbs stared into his eyes for a moment, sadly realising what Ari had said was true.

"_You happen to remind me of the bastard…"_

Gibbs decided not to insult their intelligence and decided to go straight to the point.

"Your daughter has been involved in an accident, she is in a coma and she has been for nearly two years." Gibbs said in one breath.

When Gibbs walked into the room he wanted to make Chaim's life so awkward it wasn't worth living and to punish him for what had happened to Ziva, now every single feeling of powerful hate vanished when he saw the look in his eyes when he realised she was hurt. Despite the thousands of miles between them, he could feel his grief and not forgetting the unmistakable guilt.

Chaim looked stunned for a second and shook his head.

"How?" he murmured.

"What happened to Eli Lissack when he arrived back in Israel?" Gibbs said bluntly returning an icy stare. He better have a good excuse to get out of this one.

David broke the gaze and began rubbing his chin forcibly.

"We thought he might be "valuable" and he protested his innocence, saying he was good help." Chaim spat out.

"And you believed him?" Gibbs screamed at him.

"NO," he yelled back louder still.

"I wanted him to go to prison for a very, very long time but I was over ruled." He roared, kicking the underside of his desk.

"You're the fucking Director of Mossad, can't you authorise the arrest?" Gibbs said not believing what he was hearing.

"I was getting pressure from above, he had powerful friends." Chaim said slowly.

"What happened?" Gibbs asked, not really wanting a response.

"He went on a mission," he spat out the word mission with hate. "to try and investigate arms dealers and terrorist cells."

"And let me guess, he turned sour." Gibbs replied sarcastically.

"Do not scorn me. I knew he should not have gone, I haven't forgotten what happened last time I sent someone into a terrorist cell." Those words cut Gibbs and he somehow believed he was right.

"I am coming to Washington; nothing you can do can stop me. Whatever has happened she is still my daughter and I love her." Chaim David said those last words with such penetrating honesty that something struck a note inside him.

Perhaps he wasn't the monster that he was made out to be. Though he couldn't bring himself to tell the Chaim the whole truth- not by telecom anyway…

**Please review, and comment it will make the week of exams I have coming up seem so much sunnier. Thanks xxxxx**


	14. Lustless Light

Don't ask why I have not written for so long, sheer laziness is my only – pitiful – excuse...

Tony walked through the door of the hospital ward shiver. The silver outline of his person glistened in rain which dripped onto the bright white floor as he made his way to Ziva's room.

The soft padding of his feet was dispersed every so often by the screeching of his wet shoes on the floor. The droplets followed him like a fading snails trail the door of Ziva's room. He paused outside for a moment and heard the soft voice of the Director talking. He hesitated, his hand frozen on the door. Ear pressed into the wood.

"You know Siva if you could speak you would be telling me "I am fine", but you know what you aren't. I don't think you have ever been fine. Ecstatic, depressed, confused, euphoric maybe. You are ...were...not fine. Ziva please accept that you don't always have to be. Come back, for me. I need you."

"I need you... I think a lot of people do. Be strong, be brave but do what's right. Come back please. I have to repay you... please." Something cracked in Jenny's voice. Tony backed off from the door.

A couple of seconds the door rattled open and Jenny stood tall in the door. her cheeks a little pink and swollen but composed. Her lips pursed together tightly.

"Go in. I need to go." She said quietly

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs pressed the bridge of his nose as he walked out of MTAC.

"Well this will be awkward." He thought to himself.

It was clear that David believed his daughter had simply come back to America. If this was the case and he really had not tracked his daughter back to Washington he would believe that she simply got injured on a case.

This day was not going to end well.

He looked at his watch.

12 hours until he got here.

Gibbs looked down on the bullpen and tried to calm his breathing and his emotions. He looked on the long shadows that covered Ziva's desk. He kicked himself. He should have got a new agent, he was stupid. Ziva was no better than Kate so why did he replace her not Ziva.

Perhaps things would have been easier for them all if they had.

His mind wandered back to David. He was a cunning bastard when he wanted to be. He could not believe he would not make any attempt to find out where she was.

His eyes flicked onto the Directors office. Unless...

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Jenny came out of the elevator, her nose still slightly red from crying and the cold air and turned her cheeks a rough pink colour. She looked at herself in the chrome plating and groaned. She pressed her skin to try and make it even again. This failed and she rolled her eyes and walked towards her office.

She pulled down the handle. Still sniffing every so often, pausing she looked around the room. She walked slowly up to her drinks cabinet and began to pour herself a dram of whiskey. Her fingers hovered over her gun.

"You always were prettier when you were crying Jen." A voice said softly.

Jenny spun and grabbed her gun and pointed it at the speakers head.

Gibbs blue eyes looked at her plainly. Narrowed slightly. Almost as if he was daring her to shoot.

"What do you want" she hissed, grabbing the glass.

"Just to chat Jen," Gibbs said softly.

He was sitting at her desk, the dark light outside turning him into a bedraggled silhouette.

"I am guessing you already have a conversation topic." She said dryly.

Gibbs smiled gently.

"Have you contacted or been contacted by director David in the past two years?" he said simply.

Jen looked slightly taken aback and sat down in the chair opposite him without a word.

She looked at him.

"No."

"No I have not or no I have been caught?" Gibbs pressed.

Jen scoffed.

"I can't believe you asked me all this. No I have not; he has made no efforts to contact me so why would I contact him."

"Careful Jen you sound like a jealous ex girlfriend."

Jen scowled and set the glass down heavily.

"I think you ought to go special Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs paused, now very interested.

"Exactly how do you know Director David?"

Jenny finished her drink and stood up to refill and began talking to the sound of the pouring liquid.

I knew him long before I met Ziva; I did not know she was his daughter to begin with.

I met him when he was still an officer shortly after Paris. He was a Mossad operative undercover going after the same terrorist I was. He was a very charming and good looking man, so me being the reckless women I was then began to offer myself to him. At first he refused, I did not know why. The mission dragged on and on and we began to see each other more."Jen turned around.

She looked at the raised eyebrow.

"Strictly professional I assure you."

She sat again.

"He was a very intelligent man but had Ziva's temper which often got him into trouble. One such time was when we ended up in Italy; he ended up getting into a fight with a local gang. Totally irrelevant to our mission, because of this he refused to admit he was injured. We carried on but his wound got infected and we had to stop in a small hotel for a night or two. I tried to help him but we both knew if we contacted our agencies we would be fired. We decided to drop of Radar, go alone until he was better. Make up some story of us finding a lead and we had not the means to contact people."

Jenny sighed ignoring Gibbs horrified face.

"We spent a week in that room but we found out our terrorist was nearby in a local cave network. So as he was getting better we decided to go for it."

"Anything happen in this hotel room Jenny?" Gibbs accused.

Jenny glared.

"We went to the cave networks. We chased down the terrorist through the tunnels, we got deeper and deeper. We killed quite a few but we lost all communication with our control officers. The last thing I remember hearing was about a storm on the way and to get out of there. We decided to get the guy anyway he was trapped. He fired at me and David shot him four times. I was lucky, I only got a flesh wound the terrorist however was not so lucky. We decided to head to the surface. We were lost. We spent hours wandering in circles listening to water rushing below us, the caves were flooding. Exhausted and thirsty we stopped on a high ledge and thinking we were going to die. One thing led to another. I woke up in a hospital bed four days later after the best sex of my life. I never saw him again, he did not contact me and I did not contact him."

Jenny finished her glass for a second time. Waiting for Gibbs to say something.

"Ziva know this?" he said.

Jenny laughed.

"Of course not, why should she, it was meaningless. I just thought you should know" she finished.

"Director David is on the next flight from Tel Aviv." Gibbs said.

Jenny looked at Gibbs and nodded.

"I am not surprised. He can be a total bastard and has done some horrible things in his time but he does love her. Even if he does not know how to show it."Jenny smirked.

"Now agent Gibbs unless you want my job I recommend you get out of my seat." She said sharply.

Gibbs stood and walked towards the door. He stopped at the entrance.

"Any other directors you have slept with Jen?" he said smiling.

"Goodbye Jethro." She said.

NCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs stood in his basement, sanding his boat. Looking every five minutes at the old clock propped up against the brick wall.

His NIS T shirt clung to his back as he ran the sander up and down his nearly finished boat.

He heard footsteps on his stairs and looked up and saw the bottom of trousers wet with rain. The figure reached the bottom and Gibbs and the stranger looked at each other.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Agent Gibbs." The stranger extended his hands.

Gibbs looked at it only briefly and smiled and accepted the shake.

"I am glad you came David, I think we should talk."

"As do I Mr Gibbs." David said walking to the bench.

He noticed the bottle of dusty bourbon on the shelf and smiled.

"Here I was thinking I was the only man who ever drunk this stuff." Gibbs looked surprised as David poured himself a glassful.

"Well there aren't many real men left." Gibbs said lightly.

David chuckled.

"No there aren't just us grouchy old bastards." David's smile left his face.

"What has happened to my little girl?"

Gibbs stopped sanding but did not put the sander down. He turned to face David and looked towards the door. He walked next to him and sat down.

"Your daughter has been in a coma for two years..." Gibbs could not continue as David yelled out.

"It has taken two years to inform me, I may not be a good father but I am still am one." He rose to his feet. Gibbs could see the temper Jenny had talked about rise behind his eyes.

Gibbs stood up as well. So they were eye to eye.

"It has taken us two years because we only found out yesterday. She did not return to us. We thought you had sent her on some suicide mission because Daddy did not like what she did." Gibbs voice matched David's yell.

"She left; he told me she never wanted to hear from me again and walked away." David lowered his tone.

"I do not know wear she went or who to. I presumed she had come back to Washington."

David sat with his head in his hands.

"I lost her; all I wanted was for her to be happy."

Gibbs looked down at him.

"You expect me to believe that you have not even tried to find out where she was."

David laughed deep in his throat.

"I tried that once before, she did not like it. Was one of the reasons she left. I learn from my mistakes Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs sat again.

"We believe she was attacked by Eli Lissack or someone he knows. He said she was in debt. Do you know why that is?" Gibbs wondered.

David frowned and shook his head slowly.

"I do not know. It would be better if we knew more about Eli and his little friends first."

Gibbs nodded in agreement.

"One of my team members is doing that now,"

"Good, good. Eli is a slippery character with a life of fast cars and women. You might get him that way."

David turned to Gibbs.

"Please, you are a good man, what is happening to my child? What happened?" David asked a shake in his voice. Gibbs was not able to tell if it was anger of distress.

"She has been in a coma for two years, serious internal bleeding, she nearly drowned. We... um... we are not sure if she will wake up."

David nodded his head.

"My baby?"

Gibbs nodded back at him.

"Listen to me agent Gibbs I know you hate me but I think I have the right to see her." David stood.

"David, let me ask you this. If you loved her so much why did you let her join Mossad?"

David laughed again.

"I thought I was doing the best." David let the comment hang.

He noticed Gibbs looking shocked.

"I will tell you the story when I see my daughter."

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs and David made their way in silence to the hospital. The silence was not all together uncomfortable. There was simply nothing to say to break it. In the past hour both of their opinions of each other had shattered and they were trying to understand each other. And themselves.

They reached the hospital doors and they opened with a soft swoosh and they walked into the warm corridors. Gibbs lead the way quickly. Both of their feet walked in sink. Heads held high and looking straight ahead.

They reached the ward.

Gibbs opened the door to Ziva's room and saw Tony half dozing in the chair. His hand on Ziva's.

"Tony..." he said softly.

No response. Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty." He shouted.

Tony snorted and woke up quickly.

"On your six bosses" he muttered.

"Ziva's father is here."

Tony looked surprised.

"here as in American here..." Tony began as David walked in.

"Oh, here." He said coldly.

David was not taken aback by the cold response. He was expecting it after all. Hell, he though he deserved it.

"So you are the man who was sleeping with my daughter, no?" he said calmly.

Tony stopped.

"How do you know?" he repeated shocked.

"I know a lot of things Mr DiNozzo." David's eyes surveyed him up and down. "A lot of things about you."

Tony shifted uncomfortably

Tony went quiet for a couple of seconds but suddenly looked up at Gibbs and David. There was a fire in his eyes Gibbs knew all too well.

"I hope you know what you are doing" he thought.

"How dare you show up here? After all you did to her? You don't deserve to call yourself her father. She needed you and you turned her away. Time and time again. When she was little you never really loved her." Tons face was puce with anger.

David looked calmly at him.

"I know I have done many things to regret. Though I always thought I was doing the right thing."

"Sure..." Tony said.

"Let me finish." David said with such resounding authority that Tony sat.

"When Ziva was born she was my pride and joy. I loved her more than anything; I would give her anything in the world she wanted. "He chuckled. "I really did spoil her, too much really. Then when she was two years old my friend's daughter was kidnapped by an overzealous HAMAS officer. He adored her and everyone knew he she was his most treasured being. No one knew where she went. Together we spent an entire year looking for her. We did everything we could; he did not sleep or eat. He was a man possessed. Then after an entire year's work and searching we discovered she was in Jordan. We sent in a team to get her out. I went with them but I would not let my friend come and I am glad. She had been turned into what all I can describe as a private whore for this officer. She lived in a dark room; she had barely seen sunlight for a year. She was scared, very scared of everything. Any noise she heard made her jump. We watched her for a couple of days before we could storm the place and I saw some of the worse things ever. I watched him repeatable rape her until she was screaming in pain. He beat her and used him as his little toy. Doing what he wanted. Then I heard something more horrific the sound of a baby crying. She had had his child."

He looked around at the shocked faces.

"That's when I knew we had to go in. We stormed the building and killed him. Arresting several others. We finally reached her room. I went in. I saw her nursing a small child begging for it to go to sleep. It was a perfect little boy and she was sobbing desperate for it to sleep. She saw me and went hysteric. She thought it was him coming back. I did everything to try and calm her down. In the end I had to sedate her and carried her and the baby out."

"We got her back to Israel but she was mentally scarred. Did not trust anyone, I told her father what had happened and watched a grown man, Tipped to be the next director sob in my arms. I took him to visit her and his grandchild. He found it hard to cope as did she. She needed nearly constant sedation and even worse we found she was pregnant again, three months pregnant. She had to have the baby. It was a girl. This sent her over the edge. She had to look into the eyes of her rapist every day. She managed for a couple of years but she was not right. Finally she killed her children and then herself on the third anniversary of her abduction. She was 14 years old. I decided then that I would never let anything like that happen to Ziva. They go after the people you love. Perhaps it was wrong, if I could raise her again I would show a little more love."

"I realised this when she was 16 by then it was too late. All she wanted to do to make me proud of her."

He looked down at her on the bed.

"She was adamant that she would join Mossad. I was not happy but I let her. It was what she wanted."

He looked at Tony.

"I have made many mistakes raising Ziva but at least I never tore her heart out and threw it in her faced."

"Now," he hissed. "I want a couple of minutes with my daughter."

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony and Gibbs left.

David sat down next to her and placed his hand on hers.

"Oh my baby girl, oh my precious little girl. I am so sorry. Please come back to me. I have lost so much. Tell me you know that, tell me you understand."

David placed his head next to her and listened to the machines,

Suddenly, he felt something squeeze his hand back...

End of chappie. Please read and review


	15. Raising Another Ten

The director froze. His mouth opened slightly, torn between running out and staying there with her. Did he imagine it?

He looked at her face. As expressionless and as cold as before, looking back at her hand he called out. Not daring to breath.

Gibbs and Tony both fell through the door. David motioned at Tony to come over; he pressed her hand between his and laid it back on the bed.

Tony looked bemused for a moment, his eyes scanning David, looking for an answer on his old face.

He felt a light squeeze, barely there at all.

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

A muffled sound filled her ears; a low hum, like an irksome fly in a corner of room. Something you know is there but just cannot place. She tried to sit up; she was tied to the bed. Or so it felt, her whole body was tired and ached. She had not the energy to even open her eyes. The buzzing morphed into the low tones of someone talking.

She could not place the voice, hell! She did not know it was even someone talking yet. She just wanted to sleep some more...

"Please come back to me..."

Did they not know she was here, she thought?

Her head was clearing, a haze was lifting slowly. The rolling back of fog over her mind.

She acknowledged the presence of a voice but did not really hear.

Her brain suddenly kicked in. Just for a moment.

_It is your father._

He was here? It must be a dream. She could not tell what was real or not. The two flowed together beautifully.

A loud shout hit her. Then the sound of running

Someone grabbed her hand. She needed to stop this chaos and panic, trying to reach out to them...

She squeezed again.

Slightly harder this time, she was still enjoying the restful bliss of sleep too much to awaken to the world of the ignorant living.

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Tony practically fell onto the seat on the either side of the bed, and grabbed zivas other arm abruptly, Clinging onto her forearm and wrist. Very Protective and at the same time, he was desperate for her return.

"Come on sweet cheeks, you are strong enough, we all know you are."

"Just a little more, it doesn't take much wake up."

The room filled with different and yet similar words of encouragement.

The machines all beeped a little louder, a little faster and a little more enthusiastically as her vitals rose.

NCISNCISNCIS

Ziva kept her eyes shut.

She could see, for the first time everything that had happened, how she got here, how she came to America, why she left, why she came back.

And who she came back with....

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Blood rushed to her body, her heart rate increased and she violently raised her head. The only productive action of her attempt to sit.

Holding onto Tony, she looked at him.

No anger in her eyes,

No Sadness,

Sheer forgiveness and gratitude that he was there with her.

"Where is my son?"

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Jenny was pacing around her office, scotch in hand.

She liked scotch, alot actually, better than bourbon anyday. Not that she would tell Jethro that.

She downed her glass and poured another, cursing that she had told Gibbs everything.

Yes it had happened, yes it was stupid and yes it explained the undying gratitude and protection she felt for the David Family.

She was still not impressed he was here; she had not seen him for years, not since, well...

Shuddered,

That night.

Slightly annoyed and relieved that she had to stay at NCIS as half of her lead team were in the hospital she leant against the desk, staring at her phone and then checking her cell.

The paced another circuit of her office, her nails scratching along the wall.

She saw her cell phone light uo and grabbed it before it had even begun to ring.

"How is she?" she said

Jethro's calm and whispering voice crackled into life.

"She's awake, and..." he paused and Jenny frowned.

"Get down here" he finished.

"Jethro whats happened?"

"Just do it Jen."

"Jethro..." the long beep told her he had hung up

NCISNCISNCIS

Each of the men looked at each other, all slightly white. None of the able to answer that question or even comprehend it fully.

Tony was the most in shock his eyes wide and fixed, mouth opening and closing quietly.

"Your son..." Gibbs asked.

David looked at him, shocked, and also –Gibbs thought- a little scared.

"Yes "Ziva Said.

"Melech."

The poignancy of that statement echoed off the walls, it was not a question. There was no doubt in her voice. She truthfully thought each of them new about him and someon had been caring for him for all those months. Really what do you say to that? None of them wanted to be the one that broke that silence.

Underneath that though was anger towards the men that put her in hospital from all three, anger towards Tony form two of them for forcing her to leave and anger to Uri from Tony and Gibbs.

Anger unsaid, and anger which would not be acted upon until later. Sadly the most irrational emotions cause the most change.

The akward silence was broken by an awkward question.

"Your son Ziva? My grandson?" The director asked.

"Yes, where is he? Who has him?"

Tony looked at her, and cupped her face.

"We don't know don't know."

Ziva said nothing for a couple of minutes and then started to cry, her whole body rocked into Tony's chest.

Gibbs left the room with no excuse as he left the tattered remains of a family in peace.

NCISNCISNCISNCIS

Gibbs passed the nurses' station and mentioned Ziva's awakening and also how they were not to disturb her despite hospital policy for at least 10 minutes. The subdued nurse looked terrified as she nodded to him.

Groaning he decided to call Jenny.

NCISNCISNCIS

"Ziva, I promise you we will find him." Her father reassured.

"Though you have to tell us what happened."

Ziva nodded to her lap and then looked up.

"It was Eli Lissack, he wanted me dead. I had information apparently about a terrorist attack. They tortured me and took my son, I don not remember much."

"They said that Mossad needed to be brought down, they have killed others. All I know is that 10 mossad agents over the past 5 years have been killed for some reason and they are planning something big."

Ziva shut her eyes clearly exhausted and the director made a strangled sound of worry.

"All that matters is you are alive Ziva and we will find your... our? Son" said Tony hesitantly.

"He is yours Tony do not worry," she said, a tear trickling down her cheek.


End file.
